Shane “the vet” Ryan

Ninth time at Chiangmai 6s – can’t keep the guy away. Or awake. And despite being an Australian resident in Singapore, he’s ideally qualified to play for Taranaki – he has actually been there. Once. 25 years ago.

Just wishes he could play cricket – it would then make sense his repeatedly coming on tour ….

But no matter, he’s back to defend the Perpetual TT Sa Pa CC Ashes Trophy. Bring it on boys.

Damian “the dentist” Ryan

Clocking up his third visit to Chiangmai, Damo now counts as an experienced Taverner. While completely useless as a cricketer, he redeems himself with his ability to find the best oil massages & the worst haircuts in all Thailand.

Unfortunately his expensive tastes are now coupled with divorce-induced poverty, so he has come in search of an alternative income stream & is actively seeking employment. Preferred is tuk-tuk driver, but will consider gigolo – straight if necessary.

Duncan “married alas” Foster

In Pattaya this past November Duncan married a lass – the beautiful Mot, forever to be  Number 8 in the hearts & breasts of the Taranaki boys.

The arrival of Foster Junior prevented attendance at last year’s 6’s &  Duncan has been eagerly awaiting the opportunity to play again in Northern Thailand. However, it transpires that he will not be travelling solo, so cricket will have to suffice this year.

Duncan is also seeking committed mango buyers in Chiangmai. Flesh squeezers not welcome.

Eddie “it’s all in the name” Beveridge

A very, very average, social cricketer.
A very, very social,  average cricketer.

Weaknesses: - Touring, talking rubbish around bars, food, wine and more beer.

Strengths: - Touring, talking rubbish around bars, food, wine and more beer.

Tour Virgin 1

Nishan “Nish”  Weerasinghe

Aged 5, equipped with thermos flask, tuna sandwich and boiled egg, Nish’s mum took him to see Surrey play at the Oval. Instantly he became a cricket nut. His career, as it was, peaked early when at age 11 he skippered his school team - opening the batting & bowling.

Three decades on, his cricketing prowess glows almost as bright. Age & alcohol have shortened the run, but he still bowls as fast as an 11 year old, and nearly scores as many runs. Sheer guts & determination have produced the idealised all-rounder, perfecting the art of perspiration-minimisation in the field. And he can now drink 4 pints without needing the men’s room.

TV 2

Walter “piste parrot” Persaud

Walter is a miniature West Indian from Guyana who flies with the Siam 'Parrots' Cricket Club in Bangkok and imbibes with the Spirits CC in Singapore. Claims to actually play cricket for both.

Since joining those cricketing colossi this season, he has been complaining of a liver dysfunction due, of course, to the proximity of parrots spirits. An all-rounder who bowls a wicked off spin, he also packs a punch both with the bat and whilst running around the field (after the parrot spirits).  

TV 3

Giri “Giri” Giri  - Tourist 1

Founding member of the Singapore Misfits CC  –  Giri is Singapore’s Mr. Cricket. Like many institutions in Singapore, Giri is worth a visit if you have the time. Slightly smaller than Sentosa, more verbose than Raffle’s statue, and definitely more agreeable than Changi Prison, he guarantees a full afternoon’s entertainment, waxing lyrical on cricket, curry & condoms for any lucky visitor.

And for a small fee Giri has been known to offer advice to the fashion-challenged.

TV 4

Pete “Sprinter” Tauro - Tourist 2

An old hand, one of the early Tanglin tourists. And as that hand is certainly old - & don’t believe that bullshit about blindness - Pete has retired to Samui to look for an assistant. Experience with Zimmer frames preferred.  Interviews will be conducted every afternoon at the Taranaki tent, & early evening by prior appointment only.

No sex please, he’s from Great Yarmouth. But he does do quite amazing starfish impressions.