2007 Team

The local Chiang Mai lads managed to string together a team not strictly in the Flogger’s & Robber’s manner, as unfortunately, the entire team was a bunch of Flogger’s. Let me kindly introduce you to the team members, who will certainly live out their pen portraits throughout the tournament: 

Dave Hird (Siberia) - Captain

An old bullet & veteran to this competition. Don’t be deceived by the pansy run up, as he’s known more commonly in Chiang Mai cricket circles as the Pace Maker… just don’t writhe in hilarity when you spot the dancing moves once he’s released the ball. Dave’s been through ups & downs on his batting skills but as he’s matured with experience his average run rate has amplified from duck to tolerable for this drunken side.

Simon Grant (The Low Veld)

Although he’d favor to spend his weekends chasing bulls and wrestling hyenas… he’s a handy all rounder & washes up reasonably well. A great asset in the out field & doesn’t let a great deal find the boundary. However, he’s taking some time in adjusting to a bat as an alternative to a club. If you do get the opportunity to witness the Lowveld rooster boogie, it’ll be something you’ll treasure eternally.

Chris Allen (Ethiopia)

AKA – Stick Insect! Chris has the sexiest legs in town & loves to flash them off & if you’re across at the Floggers Bar you may even get to see more than just legs! Apart from being a pom… he’s an acceptable attribute to the side. Besides pole dancing - Chris has many other talents of which his favorite is clong diving. N. B. IF ANYONE NOTICES A SKINNY FARANG TOURETTING ON THE BANKS OF THE CLONG – PLEASE HELP HIM TO SAFETY & DROP HIM OFF AT THE FLOGGER’S TENT. Thank you!

Warwick Hodgson (Oriel Girls University - Zim)

A greenhorn to Chiang Mai & to the sixes. Although he most likely hasn’t held a bat or thrown a ball in 27 years we figured that because of the fact that he’s Zimbabwean then he ought to be useable. We’re awaiting a verdict on weather or not Warwick can use his bicycle for his bowling run ups… don’t be troubled, he’ll probably fall off before the crease! Make certain that there are paramedics on standby to dislodge the odd fag butt wedged in his esophagus. AND WARWICK- NO PHONE CALLS OR E-MAILS ON THE PITCH!!

John Wood (The Shire)

Apparently had talent once upon a time but we’re convinced that most of his runs have been made off “no balls…” he’s only three and half feet tall and were sure he grew up in a cave and survives solely on earwax! Although this is the first time that John has represented the Floggers in Cricket, he has participated in other events, including Doi Suthep Rally driving. Let’s hope that his Manila 10’situs alcohol poisoning (disguised as diarrhea) won’t keep John off the field. John is HIV positive – (Heavily Into Vodka)!

Brad Pike (Ngorogoro Crater)

Beware- Brad usually smashes his pitching wedge three hundred yards so there’s no telling what he’s like wielding a piece of willow! If you think you’re rough, you’ll be filed smooth, if you’ve got a flat tyre, put sky in your rounds & if you’re fishing, be sure to use a black fury… so If you ever meet in conversation, you will require a bullymafoofian translater - so don’t bother. Just nod and smile!

  
Mike Green (Azerbaijan) - Manager

In a nutshell… built for comfort & not speed, hence the 3 stride run up. He could be a useful option if he wasn’t swaying in and out of his crease by midday. Actually, if he was as good at cricket as he is at partying he’d be opening the batting, bowling & even the fielding (on his own). If Mike doesn’t convince you that vodka is a tangible form of psychotherapy then the rest of the team most certainly will.

Super Subs (Pick one for us):

Eric Salad Dodger Dawson

need I say more! Be sure to try out his Biltong, which should be on sale around the grounds… make sure you weigh the contents!!

Carlos Half Pint Hyena Wollmann

The Puzzle from Brazil (All the pieces are there but nothing quite fits) – need I say more?

Andrew Pullafloppypuss

The Hairy McDonalds loving Greek – need I say more?