2007 Team

Jez (Jellamee) Coulbeck (Tour No. 13)

Making his 13th consecutive tour (and missing his 12th consecutive wedding anniversary) Jez promises us that Chiang Mai still hasn't seen the best of him. There's a rumour going round that we're playing for The Ashes this year – let's just hope it's not the remnants of his ‘Flaming Saddle Bags'.

Ron ‘Lon' Farrer (Tour No. 8)

Our long serving scorer and the man who puts the ‘aaaaaah' in Darjeeling. Following record sales of his Thailand Tour Diaries ‘My Name is Lon' Ron will be continuing his generous support of all things Chiang Mai... Ron of course will keep a fatherly eye on the new boys to ensure they visit only Lon approved establishments.

George Appleton (Tour No. 7)

Our club captain George is once again responsible for the moral and discipline of the Darjeeling lads. This year will see George assume the Lotus Position, as his Buddhist Classes this past year will show us a calmer and more tolerant skipper for 2008……… well at least for the first day!!!

Stuart ‘Two Tubes' Hardie (Tour No. 6)

Cigar toting, brandy swilling, Viagra popping eccentric Stuart's 2006 excuse to slip off early ‘I've got some food stuck in my drinks tube' still has many members of the club in hysterics – we're just wondering which one the Viagra goes down! Word has it that the Chiang Mai ladies are queuing up for his return, well at least they can get some money out of him. Will there be a change of shorts this year?

Ahmed Al Kaabi (Tour No. 6)

Unlucky with his second bid for Liverpool FC Ahmed has had to settle for a controlling stake in Darjeeling CC. Under increasing pressure from the fans Ahmed did make funds available for the star signings of England batting leg-ends Harry Maltby and Matt Trehy. A lifelong Darjeeling fan, Ahmed assures us that he only has the club's best interests at heart.

Greg ‘It's all about the kids' Moses (Tour No.4)

Last year's player of the tournament certainly has a lot to live up to this time round. Should form a formidable opening partnership with fellow Yarpie Rudi who'll push him all the way should a Darjeeling player take this year's award. We'll let you know which room Greg's staying in so that you know not to leave any clothing on your balcony.

Chris ‘The Domminator' Dommett (Tour No. 4)

The marathon man is back again this year to help Skipper George keep the team fighting fit, with the strictest of training regimes. Chris's main task this year, apart from replacing the missing Glenn, for the second over spot, will be to ensure the new lads on tour, are not too overwhelmed with the delights of Chiang Mai, but drag them kicking and screaming back to the PornPing at a reasonable hour.

Andy Tideswell (Tour No. 3)

Despite some fine performances over the last couple of years (and we don't mean on the field) ‘Me Julie' has somehow still allowed him to join up with the team for his third consecutive tour... it is rumoured that there will be no tearful re unions in BKK this year. The only tears coming from Andy as he realises he has missed his flight again.

Stuart ‘Dubai Balloon' Matthewson (Tour No.3)

Having been on the Atkins diet since the turn of the year we'll be lucky if there's anything left of Stuart by the time the tournament starts. Stu hasn't bowled a wide or been hit for six since October, mind the club has been shut down since then! His supporters club is already beginning the preparations, but will they recognise the new slim line version?

Richard Cox Snr (Tour No. 3)

Our "Senior Statesman" Richard will be on hand to scream out words of encouragement from the safety of the Darjeeling Tent, or abuse depending on how the umpires perform. Anyone looking for a last minute stand-in is welcome to recruit Richard to their ranks.

John Deuten (Tour No. 2)

The Club Chairman is back again this year, to gently cajole the playing members of the club to greater heights for 2008. The gentle giant can be found reclining in the Darjeeling Tent on match days, puffing on Monte Cristo's and supping fine wines (or cider)

Rudi ‘The rat-catcher' Bischoff (Tour No. 2)

After a couple of years absence Rudi makes a welcome return to the Darjeeling fold. A genuine all-rounder Rudi promises to bring us what we've been missing for the last couple of tours... sleep! Will no doubt talk you through every shot or wicket hundreds of times over... zzzzzzz.  Would probably be playing for South Africa if he could hold on to a cricket ball as well as he can a rat!

Harry ‘The sex-pest' Maltby (Tour Virgin)

One of the star signings made possible by the takeover of the club by Ahmed Al Kaabi. Many have compared Harry to Freddie Flintoff - six foot plus, can hit the ball a long way (sometimes) and loves his ale - thank god there's no pedalos in Chiang Mai! Could definitely be challenging Stuart Hardie for this year's Viagra cup.

Matt Trehy (Tour Virgin)

Mr Al Kaabi's second star signing became available to us at a real knock-down price. IF (and it's a big IF) he can remain injury free, his last injury believed to be a bruised testicle!!!! Matt's aggressive batting style should make way for some real exciting viewing at this year's tournament, with his bowling a sight to be seen.