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DARJEELING CC |
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BACK ROW: Greg Moses, Andy Tideswell, Jez Coulbeck, Stuart Hardie, Ron Farrer Now on it's 20th tour of Chiang Mai, the oldest and most prestigious Cricket Club in the United Arab Emirates is back to reclaim the glory of coming somewhere in the tournament. JEZ (JACK DANIELS) COULBECK – TOUR MANAGER Well what can I say about our tour organiser, a master class in batting will be seen, at least on day one, so long as we can prise the empty bottle of JD out of Jez's hand long enough to replace it with a bat. His fiery bowling style with his zigzag signature approach will have the opposition trembling in their shoes. Jez has reportedly already been in touch with the Regional Manager for Jack Daniels to ensure there is plenty on hand. GEORGE (THE HEADMASTER) APPLETON – TEAM CAPTAIN Our team captain and disciplinarian will be leading from the front as ever, firing the squad up with threats of corporal punishment. With his firm but fair approach I'm sure the team this year will be in bed by at least 6am ready for their early morning outings. As our last line of bowling defence, George's line and length is legendary in Chiang Mai, especially his length, ask him if you're curious!!! BRAD (SLAP DE BIATCH UP) WISSINK One of our leading run makers and opening bowler (should stick to keeping wicket), Brad is sure to thrill the crowds with his electrifying strokes, so long as he is not batting for his averages, which he will hard pressed to retain his 132 average from last year with 3NO and a retirement. The ladies will be already trembling in their shoes, if they haven't already lost them to Brad. And if they decide to give him any lip, they'll end up with a fat one, courtesy of the hairy side. GREG (IT'S ALL ABOUT THE CHILDREN) MOSES Our lean, mean South African is back to repeat his previous feats. Nutsy's right nipple is in danger this year, after Greg left him with a painful reminder on his left one in 2006. Greg our other key opening bat is sure to have his eyes set on a record or two, that's if he can focus long enough to see through the previous evening's debauchery. Greg of course will be concentrating on making as much money for the kids as possible, his sponsored "Drink-athon" is already gaining momentum, and all 100 baht donations will be gladly accepted on site in the Darjeeling tent. STUART (DUBAI BALLOON) MATTHEWSON His debut last year thrilled all in Chiang Mai, especially the bar owners. His entourage is already getting excited at the prospect of "Dubai Balloons" return especially on stage at the Foxy Lady. In competition with Jez for the JD drinking contest, and bringing his refined ingredients for the Bullfrog, will ensure the Darjeeling boys are in good form. His deadly left arm spin will have the opposition wondering which way it will turn. Unlikely to wield a bat yet again, "The Balloon" will concentrate on his golf swing during the days off. ANDREW (WHERE'S ME JULIE) TIDESWELL Andy's debut in 2006 is still a talking point at the Darjeeling Clubhouse. The club is still in discussions with Granada TV to include it in an episode of Corrie. Andy's fiery temperament on the field his aggressive swing bowling and no wides policy will have the opposing batsmen grafting for their runs. If he gets to bat then all over the boundary better beware. Andy won't have the lovely Julie with him this year to lose on the second day of the tour, his capacity for anything alcoholic will have all the bars on standby to fly in extra provisions. GLEN (JAMJAR) AMJADI Glen's record at the Chiang Mai sixes is legendary. The most expensive over Glen is back to redeem himself in 2007 and has been practising avidly during mid flight using the aisle to make sure he's perfected his line. He does apologise to the passengers in the window seats!!! As our in house nutritionist, he will ensure that all the team are eating the right stuff, that's if he can get them out of the Sugar Shack and White Lotus long enough to convince them that food is an option. CHRIS (THE DOMMINATOR) DOMMETT Chris is a veteran of Chiang Mai, as our batsman / wicket keeper and one of our more mature members, Chris will encourage the younger lads to follow his example of early to bed, not that they will take a blind bit of notice again!!! As our resident marathon runner Chris will be responsible for all aspects of team fitness, ensuring the Darjeeling lads warm up properly prior to lifting those heavy beer bottles is a must this year, getting them to warm up prior to games however will be a harder challenge. MATT (I'M INJURED) TREHY A newcomer to both Darjeeling and Chiang Mai, Matt is looking to display his batting prowess on the fields of the Gymkhana. By the time Matt gets to read this he will have already lugged the Darjeeling kit through three airports and drunk a bottle of Thai Whisky, to get him properly introduced to the Darjeeling way of life. We hope Matt can stay injury free for at least one match, as his current record is played 7, injured 7, with head, thumb, and knob to name but a few!!! RON (BIG LON) FARRER – SCORER Ron will be on hand again to keep a calming influence on the younger players. Keeping all the Darjeeling books in order, Ron will be able to relay the match by match tour statistics back to Darjeeling HQ. As our on tour mentor, he will also ensure that the squad will be kept on the moral high ground, and of course Big Lon will ensure all bars meet the safety and satisfaction standards for the Darjeeling Boys. After all Big Lon wouldn't want his lads to try anything he hasn't done before. STUART (WHERE'S MY BRANDY) HARDIE – CRICKET OFFICIANADO With a cigar in one hand and a brandy in the other, where does he keep the Viagra? Stuart will be vocal from the safety of the Darjeeling Tent, condemning the sweep shot at every opportunity. We wonder what new and amazing excuses Stuart will come up with this year, to enable him to slope off official functions to go and sample the delights of Chiang Mai. We also welcome back Stuart's shorts which will be on tour number 3 without a wash!!! |
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