AFTER LOSING 2 CONSECUTIVE FINALS OF THE SPOON AND DRAWING LAST YEARS PLATE IN DRAMATIC CIRCUMSTANCES THE DETERMINATION OF THE TEAM TO ACTUALLY WIN SOMETHING THIS YEAR, IS SOARING SOMEWHERE BETWEEN LETHARGY AND MILDLY INTERESTED? THE FOUR NET SESSIONS HELD BETWEEN LAST YEARS COMP AND THIS YEARS HAVE BEN ATTENDED BY ONE PLAYING MEMBER, ONCE, AND WE EXPECT THIS HEAVY TRAINING LOAD TO BE MAINTAINED UP UNTIL THE START AND THROUGH THE DURATION OF THE TOURNAMENT. OUR 8TH.

THE TEAM

SANDY CULLEN. For the 3rd consecutive year being dragged protesting and mumbling out of retirement, dusted off, and informed he's playing or faces the Wally Pohl test of credibility for the next 365 days.

WALTER POHL. It's very difficult to write anything about the Whale as his philosophy on any commentary of any subject is to congratulate (???) the author with his trademark slammer. Actually he maintains this philosophy through most aspects of his life. It's simply a case of slammed if you do and slammed if you don't. Or as he puts it "If you slam by me, I'll slam by you."

DEAN HENDERSON. The one eyed kiwi gnome who is in theory organizing and captaining the side. As he was also supposed to be writing these portraits it will be interesting to see how the team shapes up. One slammer already, thanks Wal.

TOBY WHITE. Last year we wrote him up as A Player who we were expecting to come through the pub doors at any moment and provide us with talent, enthusiasm, youth and energy - and amazingly - he did. We are hoping he'll do the same again this year. Did anyone ring him?

CHRIS COOMBES. After being allocated the job of minder for Toby last year whilst playing for another team ( and being forced to bowl for hours) Chris has decided this year that minding Toby will be easier if he's in the same team and doesn't have to bowl.

JON (JD) Danby. The Ashley Giles of C-Mai cricket and a proud Parrot to boot. Noted for sleeping in car parks at night and meeting Prime Ministers the next day. Hit our only winning runs last year in a game that only he and Wani remember.

WANI. A ganggreen virgin. Shocked and dismayed that we beat his side the CMW Warriors last year Wani has sacked all of his team and moved over to ours. A noted C-Mai player and supporter of cricketer it will be interesting to see how he copes playing with the knowledge that the Whale (and the vodka) is on his side.

PAUL PITCHER. Absolutely no chance of playing this year but as its his 60th birthday and he really does appreciate seeing his name in print we've included him in the team, at least until A Player walks through the pub doors. Happy 60th, Paul.