Stephen "Tuffers" Drakeford - Originally haling from Swahili-land, or who cares, you might think he got his nickname for being an ace of spin, funny stunt, or a piss-head. Although two of these may be correct, it comes from his uncanny ability to field like the great Phil Tufnell himself. Do not be fooled by his "tickle me Elmo" looks and demeanour, mess with him and an explosives truck may just roll on down Sesame Street.

Michael ‘Bomber' Brown- Bomber's gangly limbs have been known to send umpires flying, so these days he has to bowl around the wicket. He reckons getting half an hour of tips from his 8 year old son's coach will turn him into a world-beater and compared to the rest of us, he may well be right. Being the elder statesman of this young side doesn't mean he will show any responsibility at all, in fact given his record of tardiness, we may well be playing the first innings a man down.

Jimi 'Zuppa' Green - Fielding is his specialty as his stature means he is always close to the ground. Jimi is the teams 'sheik' of tweak with his biting leggies, love of the ciggies and his passion for the ladies. Rumour has it that the "can't bat, can't bowl" sledge was born when Jimi first started in the nets but these days, when describing Jimi, you're more likely to just hear "can't".

Iain 'Davo' Davison - Often confused with Peter Fitzsimons in both looks and attitude. More at home in the second row of a rugby scrum or on the back of a fire engine. If he actually gets bat on ball there's a good chance it will stay well and truly hit. Likely to be the one of the last to leave the bar each night and if you're with him at the time he may show you where he keeps his asthma puffer.

Mark 'Johno' Johnson - Johno is a big hitting, Botham-esque all rounder, currently sporting a Village People/Boonie "mo". Batsmen should not be concerned to see Johno running towards them, unless they happen to be in a nightclub. Current estimates are that he will sweat 3 gallons per match in Chiang Mai. This lost fluid will need to be replaced – Chang, Singa or Scotch and Coke should do the trick. Ask him about: The hat-trick he got one time in back yard cricket. Don't ask him about: His loss (to The Morto) in the inaugural "Sa Pa Ashes".

Neil 'The Morto' Morton - The only Englishman of the team, and a Geordie to boot. He's the reason the team was put together so there is a heavy burden on his shoulders to perform on the pitch and in the bar. Can bat and bowl, just not very well. If you see him talking to his team mates late at night after a couple of Newcy Browns, please come over and let us know what he's saying.