Player No. 5 - Michael Burns - "BURNSY" - Tour No.3
Michael has been charged by the selectors with the organizing of a rebel tour to Thailand in October 2003. Whilst Michael was
not the only culprit in this, he was identified as the main instigator. Warathai stalwarts are expecting legal action in the
not too distant future regarding a life ban of never playing for the Warathai's again, however he is currently suing the
producers of The Simpson's, claiming that a certain character in this show has been based on his persona.
Player No. 2 - Trevor Chappell - "TC" - Tour No.3
No hiding in holes for this democratically appointed leader (unlike the despised despot he replaced), Trevor has reclaimed bragging
rights around the dining table over brothers Ian and Greg. Their only claim was successfully winning the Ashes on separate
tours, but based on the current climate of international cricket and the recent performances by England, Trevor's leadership
against the might of South African sixes teams, the bowl from Chiang Mai 2003 looks pretty bloody good on the mantle piece.
Player No. 25 - Steven Christie - "CRUNCH" - Tour No.7
Steven has become nothing short of a medical miracle following his recovery from Tourette's Syndrome suffered on past tours.
His profanity laced invective usually directed at any player on the field when bowling his wicket taking balls (of which he constantly
claims he gets seven an over) has ceased since he was relieved of the captaincy. Expect an immediate relapse this tour should
one not stick !
Player No. 78 - Slavko Erak - "THE SLAV" - Tour No.4
Since being inducted into Serbia's Legends Hall of Fame, Slavko has decreed that 2004 will be the Year of the People of
which he will ignore the cricket and spend more time with the fans who made him who he is today, so if it any stage of this tour
Slav wants to have a drink with you, please don't offend him, just humour him. Has had to change his mobile phone number
again this past year following the persistent phone calls of Pierce Brosnan who incessantly phones to thank Slav for passing
up the offer to play James Bond.
Player No. 66 - Troy Harvey - "HARVES" - Tour No.7
Troy is still in denial, having lost his lucrative modeling career and gift shop model role on "Sale of the Century" when
producers abruptly cancelled his contracts deeming his behavior unsatisfactory with appliances they readily showcase. Claims
of mistaken identity still abound. Currently auditioning as a spokesperson for washing powders, pool cleaning products and hangover
cures. As a party to the October Rebel tour his suspension is lifted as of Midnight 31/3/2004.
Player No. 64 - Grant Jones - "GRUNTER" - Tour No.4
Grant is the wicketkeeper for the Warathai's team. He diligently packs his pristine keeping gloves that are still to feel
the thud of leather against them. The only time they see any action on tour are as a pillow for the Slav the next morning after
one too many drinks the night before. Grant will at some stage during the week, usually after every game, seek the expertise
of the on ground nurses to alleviate the bruising to his body after yet another unsuccessful wicketkeeping adventure.
Player No.6 - Ian Liddell - "REDS" - Tour No.7
Ian, one of the only three from the original Warathai's touring party, lost his way late last year & got caught up
in the frequent flyer frenzy that was Thailand 2003. Has become a Chiang Mai regular of late (under the guise of official Sixes
business), but he claims they are only scouting missions to prepare the way for his fellow Warathais. We have reason to believe
he is a Mafia Don in a stockbroker's body, with his uncanny ability to launder cash & racketeer numbers. He only lacks
skill in the other vocation, but he is a hard worker and he will succeed in no time at all. Also a member of the October rebel
tour whose ban will also be lifted at midnight of 31/3/2004.
Player No. 15 - Darrell Mepham - "MONSTER" - Tour No.7
This will be Darrell's fifth trip (or so he claims) but we wonder which passport he will be using this time. How can anyone
so deaf and so clumsy be allowed anywhere more than twice - the second time usually to apologise. Still harbours boyhood
dreams of being a fireman so if you see him in any establishment with poles, don't slip in his drool.
Player No. 97 - Gavin Shaw - "SHAWRY" - Tour No.3
Lives in Melbourne - Supports Brisbane - ENOUGH SAID!
Gavin is the Warathai's overseas player, that's if you call Victoria overseas. Gavin adds that missing ingredient
to the Warathai's team that makes us lift to new heights when he is in the team - BEER.
Player No.80 - Stan Spink - "HUMPTY" - Tour No.4
Stan has become a perennial tourist with the Warathais, more so for the golfing circuit than the cricket. With his penchant for
all things fast and exciting, expect to see him in the "spotlight" at some time during this trip.
Player No. 62 - Scott Christie - "SCOTTIE" Tour No.1 (Rookie)
Scott is one of the contingent of first timers in 2004 and promises to keep up with the pace at all times. Has some big shoes
to fill from past rookie tourists, but he will be shown all the places of interest relevant to succeed. Gave up his last job
as a deckhand on a submarine, claiming the Navy didn't take him seriously. Brother of "Crunch" but don't
hold this against him.
Player No.1 - Danny Murison - "DANNY" - Tour No.1 (Rookie)
Another "first timer", Danny is just looking forward to being there and sending postcards home. Has been mistaken
for Fred Flintstone more than once, but as we all know, Fred is a foot taller. Police believe that he may hold the key to what
really went on at "Neverland Ranch".
Player No.44 - Simon Porter - "SPORTER" - Tour No.1 (Rookie)
Simon is another virgin tourist, leaving home for the first time with a large group. Simon is the great young hope for the Warathai's
as the rest of us are getting too old to back up every day. Tour co-coordinators will continually check Simon's bag daily,
because knowing Simon, his Mum will FedEx him egg & lettuce sandwiches at every opportunity.
Player No. 42 - James Reynolds - "SPEED" - Tour No.1 (Rookie)
Initial tour for James who hails from Vacy (Sister city to New Zealand). Hasn't been off a tarred road, but with the way
Chiang Mai tuktuk drivers operate, won't take him long to feel at home. One who should enjoy "the bright lights of
the big city".
Player No. 94 - Chris van Wyck - "CHRIS" - Tour No.1 (Rookie)
The last of the tour virgins, Chris is the quiet one of the group (before his first drink) and will tag along with the group
and enjoy all facets with golf his preferred pastime. As you can see by Chris's outrageous nickname he will be the life
of the party. Watch the quiet ones!!!!!!!
OUR SPONSORS
Steve Hatherall - Moonshine Joint, Jungle Jims, - SOI COWBOY BANGKOK
Steve got great value for money last year when his charges "THE WARATHAIS" brought home silverware for the first
time. Believes this team can now go from strength to strength and is looking for a bigger dividend for his investment.
Brian McDermott - Town Hall Hotel WARATAH AUSTRALIA
"Macca" as he is more affectionately known, lives for the sixes tour every year because he gets rid of Burnsy for three
weeks at a time
Footnote: Warathai stubby coolers will be available for sale at 200 baht each -
WITH ALL PROFITS GOING TO THE JUNIOR CRICKET PROGRAM.
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