After a year of absences in 2003 due to the rebel South African tour, 2004 sees the powerful team back to full strength with all bases covered including cricket, drinking, negotiating, skirt chasing and general debautury. The merger with the Ios Malakas has maximised off field performance and potentially minimised on field performance. Our international sporting /social abilities have finally been recognised with a lucrative sponsorship deal with Pattaya Shenanigans. This places an obligation on the team to ensure they spend a reasonable period of time in Pattaya supporting their sponsor.

Greg Bicknell (Bickers/Jeckel and Hyde)
The legend that is Bickers, back to take up the captaincy on his 13th tour to Chiang Mai with the Dilettantes is revitalised, unrestrained & unshackled! He is known in many countries for his infamous driving abilities and his total disregard for the road rules, drink driving laws & complete inability to negotiate speed humps. Somehow managed to smash the hire car in Sth Africa within 5 minutes of taking delivery. This just adds to the many traffic infringements & bribery allegations incurred in the Kingdom. As such the only driving he will be doing (when not going over cows) will be on the cricket ground & provided a set of left handed golf clubs can be located in Thailand, on the golf course.
SPECIAL SKILL - The ability to instantly produce a look of absolute astonishment on his face when accused of, or when there is a suggestion of impropriety on his behalf.

Chris Herron (Wally Bird/Lazuras)
Put in an uncharacteristic quiet performance at last years tournament. It was like his team mates didn't even know he was there. One thing didn't change, he didn't bother the scorers. Premature rumours of an untimely death in a nasty motorbike accident left the locals in a state of mourning whilst the only tears shed by fellow cricketers were that of laughter. A minute silence was held in Linda Bar in his honour.
SPECIAL SKILL - The ability to rise from the dead & cometh again and again and again until dust.

Steve Tatzenko (Tatzy Tuk Tuk)
Has reached the magical milestone of participating in his 10th Chiang Mai Sixes. Sure to be a ticket tape parade down Loy Kroa Rd in his honor. Could provide yet another excuse for a drink. Was forced to attend Bickers "match fixing" seminars when back in Darwin after leading the undermanned Dilettantes into the Bowl last year. Batsmen all over the world will be sighing with relief that Tatzy won't be taking the new ball due to a severe back injury sustained during a recent drinking session. Just like last year, this will be his swan song from the sixes.....still not believed as it wasn't last year.
SPECIAL SKILL - The Flight of the Phoenix. One more tour for just another party. Well known for his ability to corrupt virgin tourists with all night drunken debauchery.

Garry Hancock (Gazza, Loso)
Peppermint Palaces favorite son, Gazza is back for his 8th tour. So used to sixes cricket he struggles in local cricket after the 5th over. Defied logic last year by managing to score a sleep walking Whiskey Tango whilst never leaving his room. It couldn't have happened to a more undeserving bloke, this guy could pick up in a nunnery.
SPECIAL SKILL - Works on the theory that at least 1 out of 30 guides is going to say YES! ..... & they do!

Roger Weckert (The Hard Living)
Was absolutely hopeless in last years tournament, couldn't hit a ball off the square! Then promptly scored a squillion runs for Darwin and won the flag in grade comp, and became club champion. Two years ago this was the man who top edged a ball into his face, and milked it for all it was worth at surrounding bars. One of the quieter members of the team, he's our leading batsman and we expect him to score heavily both on and off the field.
SPECIAL SKILL - Team strategic advisor, both on and off field, to all and sundry, particularly on technique and R&R establishments in Samui.

Brett Hillas (Fatboy Slim)
Ask yourself, where were you when man landed on the moon, when JFK was shot & Elvis died? Darwin players all remember where they were the day that Fatboy announced he had a girlfriend. Single again after confusion rained when he instinctively handed his girlfriend baht following the deed, he returns to the Kingdom where it all makes sense. Having lost a significant amount of weight not only will he be using his tackle but can actually see it.
SPECIAL SKILL - Ability to avoid both the Thai Mafia and Tourist Police whilst doing what Fat Boy does best in the Kingdom.

Steve Attenborough (Officer of team morale)
Last year he had the rare honor of opening both the batting & bowling with his son in an international fixture & managed to lose the match in 11 legal deliveries. Provided entertainment for many German tourists when he attempted to give Fatboy a facial with his fist in the Porn Ping pool. Always bringing sand to the beach or sandwiches to a picnic he is a great contributor to the fines fund. After declaring before his debut sixes in 1999 that he was an 'A' grade indoor cricketer, he has yet to show that he has any on field ability at all. A lost cause.
SPECIAL SKILL - No wallet, no money, no idea. Amazing how you are not a "handsome man" when you leave your wallet behind.

Troy White (Fines Master Extrordinare)
A late starter, but after serious consideration, played a bold and outstanding field placement to dismiss his girlfriend, ensuring his place on the tour. A very attractive man with a full wallet, he should be a high performer on this tour both on and off the field. It is expected he will easily fill the boots of the sorely missed Ravi Shastri.
SPECIAL SKILL - Can perform in almost any position or situation and is always willing to sacrifice himself to achieve for the good of the team.

Dan Nichollas (ask him how many runs his team made in the GF against Darwin & watch his head explode!)
This bloke rolled up to the Darwin club and was told by the coach you had to train to get a game.......he promptly left never to return. It was this act that singled him out to Darwin selectors that he was a ready made overseas player for the club. It's his first tour and we are expecting big things on the cricket ground and at the opening ceremony where he will be the team flag bearer.
SPECIAL SKILLS - Knows nothing, game for anything. If there is a XXXX Gold beer in Thailand he will sniff it out!

Jim Ford (Jostlin Jimmy)
An unknown quantity, last toured in 1997, and has now finally recovered and is ready for action again. Has some cricketing ability with both bat and ball, however does hold the distinction of being the only man in Darwin's club history to be dismissed for a golden duck, caught by a woman off another womens bowling!
SPECIAL SKILL - Houdini type ability to just shrink away quietly into the night when your not looking, and we don't think it's to retire early..

Paul Bicknell (Junior)
Specially imported into the side last year from China to bolster our batting in the final game. He then majestically got bowled 1st ball for a golden, good result for the $1000 air fare he just paid getting there. His performances off the ground were still solid although he was scathing about the lack of knee high boots being worn in the bars. Like last year he may parachute in for 1 game as he still lives by the theory of , "why let cricket disrupt a perfectly good Asian holiday experience". Just like his brother Bickers Snr, he hates running between wickets, and complains bitterly when he's batting hungover and the opposition can't catch!
SPECIAL SKILL - Golden duck specialist, has a habit of making cameo appearances in games all with the same result ....Golden!!!