Umpires Pen Portraits

Photo of the 2002 Umpire Panel

Overseas Umpires:

John Bell

It is really pleasing to be able to say how much we all welcome Bellie back amongst us. He was involved, as a player and as captain of the Drifters, in the inaugural Sixes in 1988, but has more recently graduated to the heavenly realms of the Umpires’ tent, where his authority is unquestioned and he buys the beers without any quibbling! But there is a downside to things; he is bringing his son with him who is apparently a rampant Wombat and it' back to the old "How' that, Dad?" "That' out, son." Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more!!

Peter Gray

And what more indeed can one say? Uncle Fester is with us for yet another tournament! He likes it so much in Chiangmai that he has persuaded Brian and Hilary Neve to leave Cheshire four days before the cricket begins, just to get into the swing of things and to polish the glasses before the Earl' arrival. No doubt he did enough last year in the sycophantic stakes to retain his very important position in the Wombatshire retinue!

Geoff Gooch

The Sheriff of Nottingham is back. Naughty Wombats, sinning Schlungers and all other deviants, BEWARE. Two new hips and he' swinging and undoubtedly, swigging! He spends a lot of his time nowadays in the Committee Room at Trent Bridge boring Clive Rice with his Chiangmai recollections and Ricey nods and says he' been here and done all that!

Paul Jones

Hagar Horribilis is bringing with him this year the wealth of some wonderful experiences since we saw him twelve months ago he' been down to the land of Oz and has bearded the Wombats in their own den! Earl Wombat, no doubt in an intoxicated moment, offered Hagar accommodation in Bullengarook and he accepted it!! Having emptied the Earl' cellar, he then sought out the Schlungers in their orifices in the depths of the Barossa and showed them what a Wrexham boy could do to a cold beer or ten. Not content with that demolition job, he flew over to Newcastle to show the Warathais a thing or two. He actually finished his trip by stopping off, and umpiring, in Hong Kong on his way back to civilisation!

K.T. Francis

K.T. had such an amazing time last year that he' returned just to make sure it was really true:- Did Hagar actually say that to me? Was that the Earl' ‘Golden Nectar’ I saw Uncle pouring craftily away? Could somebody translate (a) what Garry says, (b) what Goochie says and (c) is he really an Earl? Welcome back, K.T.

Ness Khan

It was really great to see Khun Lambskin last year and the good news is he' coming back for more punishment in the sun. He missed Khun Stick a lot, but found much pleasure in the company of Martin ‘Jock the Sock’ Flynn. This time he’ll have to find a little corner in the Umpires’ lair and snuggle up to Hagar!

Jim Middleton

Big Jim, who unfortunately had to leave last year' tournament early on account of his wife' sudden illness, is here again.. Nowadays, he divides his time between Asia and South Africa. He was invited to help Shep and Billy Bowden at the World Cup, but reckoned he turned them down because he was too busy making a few more million rand, laying the plastic pitches all over the High Veldt.

Garry Snashall

It' good to have our W.A. representative, Garry the Snash, back again with us and he has promised to be at his immaculate sartorial best all the tournament, and to prop up the Sugar Shack bar for as long as Auy and Benny will let him.

Herb Whitlock

Herb. aka George Formby, is fast becoming an indispensable member of the happy band of blind and deaf brethren. He has for the last three years flown in from U.K. just to spend a week in the Umpires’ tent, and then return to Formby country where he bemoans the fact that he' got to wait 51 more weeks till he strides onto the Chiangmai greensward or slinks into Spotlight again. That' called ‘devotion to duty’ or something.

And locally, there' Tony Gough:

Just the organiser of this assorted crew. Although residing in Phuket, he has never managed to make a Sixes Committee meeting hardly ever even stirring to the sloughs of Patong but instead relies on Maurice, Renita and Geoff to arrange everything.