Team at 2002 Sixes

Stewart Phillips

Traditionally, Southerners hailed from Australia, New Zealand or South Africa. Stewy, a Scot, made the team because he drinks a lot. He's also a pretty good sledger. Coupled with those two important assets, he's quite handy with the bat. Some Southerners have questioned whether any of the finer batsmen, indeed any batsmen at all, came from Scotland. To which Stewy replied "shut up or I'll tear out yer guts and pewk in the hole what's left! wher's me beer!".

James Moss

Erstwhile Kiwi and now a permanent fixture on the Bangkok Senior's Tequila Tour, Ol'man Mossy has been playing cricket in Thailand since Jesus was third drop for Beirut. One of the Southerners key players, he was responsible for a flurry of 30s last year. The Southerners are counting on Mossy to again dominate the opposition bowlers - perhaps he might even manage to get one of his own deliveries on the pitch. Of course Mossy's greatest claim to fame is his insatiable appetite for tequila. Some players were worried he was becoming a bit too dependent on the gear and should seek help to which Mossy replied "tequila IS my therapy" and "shut up or I'll rip out ya guts and puke in the hole what's left".

Vaughan McClear

The Grand Old Veteran of Thai cricket is with the team again this year, and the lad from Brisbane has a keen eye on the silverware. The President of the Southerners has found a bit of form with the bat this year and is catching as well as ever, notwithstanding his dodgy prostate and having to lug around that colostomy bag. Vaughan's eyesight might be failing but he's still got an eye for the Chiang Mai sixes guides. Needless to say, Vaughany is back to Chiang Mai for another year to find his 2003 love interest. Legend has it that Vaughany has been out with 74% of all the guides who have ever worked at the CM6s so keep your eyes on your guides!

Andrew Barns

Inventor of the "Tequila Barnes" (there isn't a bar in Chiang Mai that can't mix it) and able to roll a ciggy in one hand while throwing down sharp offies, Barnsy knows cricket is a complex game, both on and off the field. Good grooming has always been important for Barnsy, as it is for most Australians, and he regularly plays in 45 degree heat for eight hours finishing the day without a hair out of place. In fact, the the little man on top of the Thailand Cricket League trophy sports a replica Barnsy hairdo. At the 2003 CM6s, keen to avoid the attention of Chiang Mai's finest, Barnsy has sworn not to disrobe on the back of tuk tuks, surf on the roof of songthaews, drop bags of parsley on the highway, or sing karaoke. A keystone Southerners player, look for the Farnsworth to take more than a few off stumps.

Brett Young

The Brains Trust of the Southerners (read: can't bat or bowl but then again Warney, I mean Joe the cameraman, says that about everyone). Youngy's in the team because he has a car and can drive the blokes to the pub after training (he says if his car breaks down he'll get his mum to wash the jumpers ensuring his place in the lineup). He claims that he is the Southerner's secret weapon for Chiang Mai. As his secret last year was the infamous "Mekong-Red Bull", we're not exactly phoning our mate John the bookie. That said, with a run of not-outs in the regular comp this year, Youngy's getting his eye in and might be set to take the tournament by storm. As another of the ubiquitous Australians in the Southerners team we can all expect a regulation performance off the pitch as well.

Gavin Brown

The team's statistician and allround sarcastic bastard (being from Sydney and all), few blokes know the game like Gav. Often seen at the wicket with a calculator and slide rule, Gav adds an analysis to the game that would dazzle an Indian bookmaker. Part of the Southerners Brains Trust, Gav has spent a lot of time in the middle this year preparing for Chiang Mai. He has told me privately that he is ready to explode in Changers, and is looking for an average of 26.364.

Andrew Spedding

Speddo's having a good year with the bat and ball and is expected to adapt well to the sixes format. His medium pace skidding things and the straightest bat in the side are sure to keep the scorers on their feet. Once he learns how to run between wickets and stops running out partners he'll be the complete player. There is also a lot of mystery about the speddo. He seems to have an uncanny ability to show up at times and places when you would generally prefer your whereabouts remained unknown. I am convinced this man never sleeps and am building a case to prove that he is a spy employed by the spouses of the Southerners.

Tim "the Judge" Knowles

We decided to get a lawyer on the team after so much time was lost last year getting Southerners out of the lockup. We had a record number of incidents involving police last year and, without even mentioning the litigations, we figured it was a good time in the history of the Club that we established a permanent legal presence (I wanted a Swedish masseuse but was voted down by Barnsy and Watta who have personally met every police officer in Chiang Mai). Luckily, the Judge also brings a straight bat and a great respect for his wicket to the team. One of the better run getters for the Southerners this year, expect the Judge to tire the scorers.

Richard Oster

Likes to be known as "Dizzie" yeah right, we call him "Dick". This Australian medium quick bowls so erratically he once blackened the eye of our keeper. Loves to bowl the bouncer, the bumper, the shorter delivery, something short of a length and basically anything that threatens a batsman's head. Gave Watta a lot of fielding practice last year down at fine leg (those that he could jump up and reach). As for batting, watch for 30 runs in one over from this bloke, after every 3 or 4 ducks that is. Temperamental and fiery, that's why we love our Dick. Dick's our only "foreigner" this year and has reportedly been working on his Tequila Barnes technique not sure why, he put in about ten year's practice in Chiang Mai last year.