Team at 2002 Sixes

Last year's on the field strategy only served to dish up the wooden spoon, which was not a fair reflection of the international talents assembled by the Drifter's scouting system. However, off the field, there was much activity that has generated some changes to the 2003 line up.

First of all, we must say how sorry we are to be deprived of the services of last year's key transfer swoop, Mark Patterson. A sizeable crowd gathered at the ground towards the end of the 2002 tournament to witness the burning at the stump of Patto's Pants. His heinous crime was read out from an old scroll by an even older scroll-master in an event orchestrated by an even more experienced Master of Ceremonies from Camp Wombat. These people were recording their displeasure at the defection of Patto from the Wombats to the rather more youthful Drifters. The transfer to the Drifters has been cemented by visits of senior Drifters to Melbourne over the winter/summer but, sadly, a series of unfortunate and unseen circumstances have conspired to keep Patto at home this April. His company, character and friendship will be much missed by us all.

The remains of Patto's Pants were donated to the watching Drifters representative and, after much negotiation, have been lodged in an urn in the premises of the team's new sponsors the Stairway to Heaven bar whose American owner has seized upon this opportunity to further his knowledge of our quaint game. Out of adversity comes strength!

This new regime has tempted all of last year's party to tempt providence and make a return visit, under considerable duress, of course. Thus, Pikey and Dave Walker, now a semi-native, will be casting a key eye on their younger team members. They are Neil Howe, from Letchworth, England, an opening batsman of growing promise: Alan "Tubby" Jenner, a left arm seamer from Edenbridge, Kent, who has yet to make the crease in convincing fashion in the tournament: Gary Evans, from Adelaide via North London, a man deeply disappointed with his on-field performances in 2002, with much to prove this time around. It is possible to be too intense.

This hard core of experienced professionals has been supplemented by real talent, who might just raise a few eyebrows. First, we have Paul Irons, from South Africa. He is known as "Mighty" because of his big hitting. An extremely polite man, who runs marathons unheard of in Drifter's circles, secures construction contracts and drinks tequila. Something will have to change.

Secondly, we have the return of Trevor Burnett from Didsbury, Manchester and, yes, he does support Utd. He has performed with distinction in Drifter's colours before in Thailand, South Africa and Paris. A contemporary of Mike Atherton, but much less talkative and less prone to carry dirt in his pocket. An excellent room mate of great discretion.

Then, we have a newly confirmed Drifter, Lord Hall, known as Rob to his friends and fresh to Thailand, but not to Paris, where he made his Drifter's touring debut last year. He is straight out of the John Bell, Marchwiel, stable, but this has not held him back in a distinguished career with Nottingham University and, most recently, Mitcham. Rob also keeps goal in semi-professional circles, always a good recommendation by which to progress in Drifter circles. So, you have guessed, he keeps wicket, much to the relief of our other potential custodians.

Now, it is possible that we may be joined by one other previous tourist to Chiang Mai. This could be Neil Howe's brother, Julian, a French international or Paul Carroll, who wishes to make a return visit after many years, following two marriages and two divorces. It's that sort of community, a microcosm of life's rich tapestry. So much more could be said, but I am being hurried for copy by a semi-retired printer, who now lives part of his life in Chiang Mai. Can only be a Drifter!