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Peter Hollibone (The Earl of Wombatshire)
Captain Wombat will reappear again for his fifteenth tournament. He is
currently hard at work setting new training standards for The Wombats
day and night events and supervising rigorous pre season training at Wombat
lunches. Schooling the Lads in Morris Dancing has been added to his duties.
Unlike Steve Waugh, there is no threat to his captaincy based on a close
examination of his batting and bowling averages which are in line with
Wombat norms.
Neville Clearson (Niftus Erectus)
Regretfully awaiting a knee operation and cannot appear in usual manner
as opening bat. Will be accompanied by private nurse Linda who will be
responsible for provision of internal lubrication and frequent massage
to Nifty's swollen joint.
Ken Dashwood (Dasher)
Will be prominent again having largely recovered from painful shoulder injury.
Has been in Thailand in last few weeks arranging large erection for the comfort
and protection of those fortunate enough to be in its shadow. In his spare
time has been rehearsing exotic table top dancing techniques for his guest
appearances at the spotlight bar. We expect above average batting and bowling
from Ken this year.
Alan Tasker (Figaro)
Still court jester to the Kingdom and official heavy roller to the pitch
during his otherwise brilliant batting and bowling appearances. Actively rehearsing
his techniques with the Trusty Disposable Gillette in continuation of his
ground breaking research into removing surplus growth near the main popping
crease.
Mark Curtis
A welcome reappearance after fears he was lost in the jungle (or bars) of
Irian Jaya. Ever active in business and the Nokia will get its usual workout.
(Buy Telstra)
John Congleton (His Reverance)
The Archbishop of Bullengarook. Who is in possession of 10 miters, and
in the past has supervised the spiritual (or spiritous) side of the Wombats.
This year he will be in Chiangmai with Mrs Congleton (The lovely Patimapan)
whom he wed last year in dual ceremonies in Melbourne and Maha Salakham.
The wifely presence may improve his batting but it will probably ruin
his nocturnal activities with the rest of the Wombats.
Graeme Harry (The Bag Man)
Promises not to fall out of bed again while having strange dreams about
stuffing Wombats into sky trains. He is working on short list of candidates
for maid of the bedchamber and is conducting preliminary interviews in
the Crown Royal immediately on arrival in Bangkok all candidates will
be given a close examination and an appropriate rehearsal.
Alan Hobbs(The King)
His Royal Highness will be gracing us with a long awaited royal visit
to ensure all Wombat subjects rise to the occasion, don their armour or
whatever other forms of protection are required,and conduct themselves
well on the fields of endeavour. At his command vast tracts of his estates
have been sold off ensuring his treasury is overflowing with gold,which
will come in handy for the many G&T toasts required because of his
regal presence.
Fritz Boegel (Lord High Executioner)
Once again appears to supervise "Bloody Mary"breakfasts to
get the Wombats freshened up in the early hours. Has kept wickets with
distinction on previous visits. With great flair and occasional pirouette.
Ian Chippendale (Doc)
A welcome appearance from the official medico to the kingdom. The doctor
is skilled in the arts of dentistry and maxilliary surgery (whatever that
is) and witchdoctery he dispenses profound advice to all wombats who will
listen which gives him plenty of time in his merlinesque role of guarding
King Alan on the nightly royal visits to the hazardous Chiangmai bar areas
of middle earth inhabited by sirens.
Ron Thompson
Ron keeps on walking from the Crown Royal to the jungles of Vietnam in
pursuit of the interests of the Black Label has been by royal decree,
appointed liquor provider to the kingdom abroad in Chiangmai and will
provide emergency supplies of Johnny Walker for the sustenance of the
team. We believe he can also bat and bowl.
Kamahl Kumar
Returns from Myanmar to take up appointments with the Wombats and the
Bangkok Post. No doubt the famous bat will be deflowered at last and be
suitably reported in the aforesaid paper with other stirring tales of
the Wombats heroic efforts at the Sixes.
David Rudland(The Phantom)
Has been threatening to come back for years and maybe its 2002. He is
a reservation controller for an airline but can't seem to get himself
booked on a flight. Useful bat and bowler when around.
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