Drifters 2002

Changes have been enforced on the 2001 Drifters squad that surprised many (not least themselves) by progressing to the latter stages of the Cup Competition. (Thanks, Gamini) Thus, the elegant Lobby Smith is unable to make the trip as a result of an over -indulgence in a Paris clip joint on the Drifter's annual trip in late September that has left him in penury, such that he has introduced a self imposed touring ban for 2002ish. Ricky Fuller and Andy Newland have young man's disease that can be summed up in French as "cherchez la femme". This leaves the veterans - Dave Walker, Jon Pike to carry the torch, aided by regular Drifter, Neil Howe, and last season's virgin Drifter, Alan "Tubby" Jenner, all born in England.

The rest of the squad was not. In fact, there is a distinctly antipodean feel about the remaining members. Grant (Grubby) Mcdonald was born in Adelaide, but has worked in London for the last twelve years and has represented the Drifters in Paris, on the field and against the wall in night clubs when pinned there by giant Lebanese bouncers. Only a timely intervention by Tony Murphy, ex Lancashire and Surrey, made sure that Grubby lived to make this trip. Grubby works in advertising and has been approached to model Armani suits. Curiously, we have another Oz from Adelaide, Gary Evans, another man who has put down roots in London over the past decade. However, he has managed to escape temporarily to look after his two club mates (Walker and McDonald) at Washington CC. This is a noble gesture far beyond the call of duty. Apparently, he imports wine as well.

Finally, but by no means least, is the Drifters scoop of the century. The Wombats Senate has agreed to allow an on loan arrangement whereby Mark Paterson joins us for this tournament. This follows a probationary stint that Pato underwent during last summer on his pan European tour when he had to manoeuvrers many difficult situations created Pike, Walker and the legendary Shutters. He achieved this with much aplomb and the Drifters management (if that is not an oxymoron) immediately made their transfer bid. We are, at this stage, grateful to both the Wombats and Pato for allowing the arrangement to be put into place. He is our only hope.

If any one cannot understand what this all about, you are not meant to. If you require clarification, then please seek out the Drifters management during the tournament and let us know who they are. At least, we have managed to return, unlike those men of straw from the MCC, and are able to display true international credentials in our selection process.