After last years debut in the Tournament, the Captain has insisted they must do better, and has imposed an 8 o'clock curfew on the squad (The Following Morning). The Dragons return to Chiang Mai with a ten man tour party, which actually boasts two waterboys (Anthony & Ian), I'm sure they will be willing to fetch and carry for all! On the playing front it's more or less the same team that managed to win only one game last year, with the addition of "LADY" & "TEDDIES"

Mark "JITTER" Neal

Mark is the Dragons Captain and the Adam Gilchrist of the side, apart from the fact that he can't Bat or Keep-Wicket! I wish I could say his keeping has improved, but I'd only be lying. After discarding his Teflon gloves in Chiang Mai last year (Those who were there will know) he has switched to using Industrial Strength Double Sided Sticky tape. Mark did help the Dragons win the League Cup final, after the team was in a no win situation (He hit a Ball!) He supposedly looks like Juan Veron of Man Utd; he definitely keeps like him, as Mark prefers to use his feet.
(Tour Position: Headmaster)

Jason "ORANGE" Owens

Jason is this year's Vice-Captain & if I hear "I bowled Mike Gatting first ball" story once more, I'm going to scream!!! Since that one off incident Jason's wickets have dried up and even the tai lenders have been hitting him for six. Jason is one of the fittest members of the squad, although he does tend to be run out a lot, many due to the fact that No-one can keep up with him & end up shaking hands with him at the same end before shouting NO & sending him back. Can all tournament members please remind him to put his factor 50 on, when he's in the sun, as we don't want our Ginga to blow up! (Tour Position: Fitness Instructor)

William "TOPS THE AVERAGES" Struthers

Will again topped both the Batting & Bowling averages last season, due to the fact he does the averages, bats in 20 over matches as if it's a test match & bowls at the tai lenders. Will has been spending too much time with the "Toychucker" as he stormed off from a cup semi-final, after he asked the legendary Scud to drop out & Scud told him diplomatically to F*$% OFF ! Will recently received counselling after some of his ex-girlfriends had to be put down & burnt due to the foot & mouth outbreak in the UK. (Tour Position: Chief Cheerleader)

Simon "TEDDIES" Morgan

Simon gets his nickname from the tantrums he throws on the cricket pitch; Simon once had a sponsorship deal with FISHER PRICE, but they ended it mid-season as he was costing the company too much money in replacements. He classes himself as an all rounder, but his batting over the past 3 seasons leaves something to be desired & is no better than Phil 'The Cat' Tufnell. {But much better than Mike 'The Cat' Maher - ed.} Simon has more ducks than Slimbridge Wildlife Trust, and has also got a habit of dropping the easiest catches. Simon makes his tournament debut this year, as last year his wife didn't sign the leave pass in time. He also impersonates his hero Richie Benaud with alarming regularity, whatever the occasion. (You've been warned) (Tour Position: Match Commentator)

Richard "LADY" Lewis

Richard could easily be mistaken for a lady boy with his lovely long hair, apart from the fact that he is 6 ft 2". He usually likes to wear his hair in a ponytail, but has been warned by the squad the only way it is coming home is in his suitcase. He is a typical Englishman who drinks tea & wears a suit & being a Chiang Mai virgin Richard sure is in for a shock! Richard is a medium paced bowler & a cow corner bat, and has the potential to make a big impact on the tournament, whether it's on or off the pitch remains to be seen! (Tour Position: Hairdresser)

Neil "THE SCUD" Eggar

Neil is a bit of a fiery character after a few beers, as he beat up his roommate after a game of connect 4 in one of the local bars last year. It's OK Neil; we've brought Battleships & Cluedo for you this year. Neil over the years has managed to borrow or steal all his current cricket gear, so be warned! He's on the lookout for a jock strap as he is uncomfortable about putting his box down his boxer shorts. So was Chris, which is how he acquired it. Neil holds the world record for adjusting his vital equipment during a 20 over match, a staggering 8,327 times. (Tour Position: UN Peacekeeper)

Sir Tony "KIPPER" Lynch M.W.E (Member Of The Welsh Empire)

Tony is the senior spinner in the side ahead of the Scud. Tony was nearly locked up in the Bangkok Hilton last year after falling over & trashing half the bar, after suffering from ill effects of too much alcohol. He will find this year's tournament harder than last year, mainly because this year he's playing. Tony confesses to being a bit of a Babe magnet, you wait until you see him in those Paisley Speedo swimming trunks by the pool, (But yes, he does put socks down the front.) Tony is still fighting the high court after he was made an 'Honorary Welshman' in the Queens New Years Honours list in 2001. (Tour Position: Head Of The Welsh Tourist Board)

Chris "PODGEY" Davies

Chris will not be playing in this year's tournament due to ground breaking surgery. Chris has finally had a knee re-location, as Chris has been quoted saying "after this operation I should be able to put my knee behind me". I'm sure Chris will be telling everyone he meets around the pool about his knee & will limp around looking for sympathy. Finally Chris has fallen in love again! This time with one of his neighbors, but I don't think Mr Johnston at No 6 is too impressed! (Tour Position: Physiotherapist)

Anthony "PHILEAS FOGG" Walters

Antony gets his name of Phileas Fogg; because he went around the world in 4 days, due to flying to Australia, found out he didn't like it & came home. This was due to an embarrassing amorous episode with a kangaroo. He has a habit of not telling his mates the he's leaving, especially when it's his round, so he does more disappearing acts that David Copperfield. The tour party have had a satellite tracking system attached to him so we can pinpoint his whereabouts & find out if he's gone home or not. Since last year he has been promoted from Assistant water boy to Chief water boy & closely resembles Nookie Bear. (Tour Position: Tour Guide)

Ian "THE QUIET ONE" Howells

Ian is currently engaged to Antony & is saving money to pay for an operation to cut the cord & finally separate himself. He is hoping to get off the mark in Thailand, as he doesn't have too much luck chatting birds up at home, so he's decided to pay for it instead. Although there shouldn't be a problem with the language barrier as Ian just grunts & falls asleep after 5 pints. We are also taking bets on what day he'll say his first words.
He is also a member of the invaluable water boys, supplying his hungover dehydrated team-mates. (Tour Position: Sex Therapist)